reflection

I have spent some time reflecting over the past few years after a friend said to me along the lines that I have different giftings but they felt that I wasnt ready to lead a group as that is not one of my giftings. I have been thinking about that as the past few months I have been feeling the want to be able to lead for some reason and have just suddenly wanting to step up to that leadership role and that is when I do believe the Holy spirit has been reminding me that for the past four years or so I have taken a step back and letting others lead and just been happy serving and not having that leadership role. This really got me thinking as I have had leadership roles when working and spent most of my working life in some sort of leadership role. It was then I also realised that in many ways some of my past relationships that I have been in, I have been the stronger Christian and have kinda taken on the leader role in that way and not by choice just because of other stuff etc.

So after thinking about all this and reflecting on all this, it was then that I have realised that the past four or so have been a period of my life where I needed to sit back and just allow God to lead me. God has brought people in my life during that time that has helped me to grow not only within myself but also spiritually and that is what I have needed. In those four years I have been working on myself and working on issues that I have needed to work on. I can honestly say that the past even two months I have been working on having a more balanced life and it has been working. I know that this is something that I will always have to work on as my personality is very much all or nothing. But for the first time I did start to have a more better balanced life and even stuck to a timetable and all. The funny thing is that my marks improved and I felt more clearer in the head. No matter how busy I have been over the past few months, I have made time to exercise and to do a bit of gardening as well of course praying and reading my Bible. Much to my sister disgust I am also carrying my bible whenever I go these days as I find it comes in handy in waiting rooms to just pull it out and give it a read which is something I would have never done before.

Reflecting back on the past four years, I really have needed to sit back a bit and to learn in order to do what ever God has planned for me in the future and who knows this next new period of my life could be one where it is still time for me to grow in my walk with God as that will never end but maybe it is time for me to also step up to the mark and be the person that God has called me to be but also to really impart in other people's lives to help them to grow in their walk with God etc.

I look back now and just see what God has done in me and see the changes in me and I am so thankful for that period of learning and the people he has put in my life that really has helped me to learn and really start becoming and preparing for what God has called me to do and be in this next period of my life!