I have an interesting experience of being a woman in ministry on the weekend. Due to fear and the thought that I lacked ability to be able to do certain things in ministry and just the plain facts that I dont like to leave my comfort zone and do something that maybe a weakness or even lack of experience I didnt offer what so ever to lead communion, to preach or even do the offering talk for the alpha teams. Yet on Friday night I come after work to find two emails off Jack. The first one was asking if I was going to riversedge church on sunday ( Jack knew that I sometimes go there with my mum ) as they needed a driver and Jack was wondering if I was able to drive some students there. So thats all cool.. No worries I can do that. But then I noticed a second email asking if I could lead communion as there was no one to do this. (he had asked both men and women who some said yes but then realised later for whatever reason in the end realised that they couldnt) But if I couldnt lead communion Jermery could prob do it. At this point of time fear was raising up inside of me wiht just the thought of doing it! So I said no as I was graduating and had an essay so prob wont get time. (perfect excuse I know) But I did say if he got desperate to give me a yell thinking that I was safe and I have got out of this so this wouldnt happen! Well God obviosuly had different plans for me and decided to give me a kick up the bum and force me out of my comfort zone! (God knows me way too well!!!!!) At 6:20pm Sat night Jack messaged me saying he was sorry but no one else could do it and can I please do it! SO I did agree making note to tell Jack that he did own me one! and still does! :) ) I was so worried about doing this and my intial thought was that I cant do this and Luke was one of my Lectures and Narelle could be there who does lecture me from time to time at college. But then a thought came into my head why dont I discuss the reason why we take communion as I do believe that often we can get into a habit in doing things at church and not give a thought about why we do it or even explain to new christians why we do things.
So all through dinner I continue to stress about this communion thing even though the thought of explaining it didnt leave me head. After dinner I went into my room and got my paper out and started to procrastenate over this talk. But eventually I got the pen to paper and began to write and was supprised at how easily the words started to flow. Mind you I was still stressing over it but the words kept flowing. In the end I had a draft written in half an hr which I showed mum and sugggested one change. By the time I did that and re wrote it out agian neatly (still thinkign that this talk is not right as it hasnt taken me too long to write ) the whole thing took about an hr or so to write. Now you need to understand that I like to plan these things and would rather have throught about this and start on it a week ago so for me to have it done in a hr stressed me out even more!
When I was talking it over with my mum and step father my stepfather also gave me a much needed kick up the backside and told me that I was a smart girl who can do this and so I shouldnt put myself down and that I should just stand up and do the talk and be confident in doing it.
So that is what I did the next morning.. I got up and held the mircophone (which I generally hate doing) and did it and guess what according to Ps luke flecture and Ps Katherine Flecture it worked! I did look at Luke at one stage to help indicate if I have left a long enough time for people to partake in their communion but apparently it went well. Admitally Luke gave right feedback that it was a tad short but then gave me a suggestion on what I can do next time if that happens which was really helpful.
But this just goes to show that we cant do anything in our own strength. THis has to be all God's doing and GOd defintely had his hand in the whole situation as if he hadnt I dont think the door would have been force open for me to do the communion talk or for it to even work well.
This then leads me to wonder if women shouldnt lead communion then why did God force the door open for me to do. Yes he had asked many people both men and women who said either they werent able to due to their own church commitements. But even though I was available I wasnt putting my hand up for it and quite the opposite as I was wanting to run the other way and did try , GOd still used a woman to lead communion who was doing her best to run away from it! But in the end why would God use a woman who was doing her best to not to be used to lead communion to lead communion if he didnt want women to do this. IT is something very interesting point to think about and has got me thinking more about this.
It also made me spend a lot of time in prayer that night applogising to God and praising him. First saying sorry that I didnt believe in him enough that he would give me the skills and ability and confidence to lead communion and then praising him for the lesson he taught me as well as for his guidence, help and his amazing power and Grace!
